Yesterday (at time of writing this) I experienced my first experience of bigotry in public since coming out.
I was having a great day with my boyfriend we had just gone to the beach to relax for a bit and eat lunch, we had a great time we had a great time chatting and watching the waves crash on the pebbles in front of us. We was walking home and we crossed through the train station as it was quicker than walking the long way round. we get to the gate to get in to the station and lumps of bread started raining over the platform which seemed really odd but I didn’t think too much of it. We crossed over the bridge to get to the second platform and was just chatting about how we were hiring at one of my jobs. and we take our first step on the platform and one lad, out of a group of three and one girl, says ‘Looks like we have a couple of faggots.’ I knew he was speaking to us as we were the only other people on the platform. I don’t know what made him assume we were gay as we had not displayed any forms of affection.
He proceeded to say, ‘do either of you gay boys want a bagel?’ as he threw bits of bagel at our backs. In that moment I knew they were the people throwing food at the other platform, but we ignored them and kept walking back towards my home. The one guy continued to throw food at us reciting what I assume was the only three words he knew to call gay people. which were faggot, gay boy and bender.
This was not only my first experience of bigotry since coming out but it also was my first experience of harassment. I posted a disgruntled post on the Facebook group for local people and it seemed to get a positive response with people saying that they were surprised that this has happened because they thought as a town we were really forward thinking and for this to come from a young person really shocking. A lot of people told me to keep my head up and to not let it get to me. But a very minute amount of people tried poking holes in my story and one or two siding with the bigots.
I learnt from this experience that ignoring those who preach hate makes you a bigger person because you don’t sink to their level. Another thing I learnt was that for person that hates who you are there are more who are accepting and will love you for you quirks.
One thing my therapist has told me which I keep with me at all times is that you have to decide in the moment whether it is your problem and if it is deal with, if not ignore it. He has also said a lot of people try to make their problem other peoples’, so they have to deal with it less.
You have to decide in the moment whether it is your problem and if it is deal with, if not ignore it.
Thank you for reading, Enjoy the rest of your day wherever you are.